Travelogue Move to WI Day one....halloween

To start the day I had to discard all the crap that I just couldn't pack, fit, or handle at the last minute.  My at least 40 lb stuffed garbage bag broke as I tried to heave it in the dumpster one=handed and I had to sweep up coffee grounds, broken glass, anything gross you can think of.  I was on the verge of tears from exhaustion.

My lovely feisty neighbor June kept asking if there was anything she could do to help me, and she can't load, cant carry, y'know, I would never ask her even though she offered.  then she said "Can I make you a sandwich for the road?" and I said thank you June, yes, that I can accept.

Thank god.  I finally pulled out with the trailer at 10:30 exhausted, dirty, sweating, and just at my limit. Then, tuco started screaming because I was stressed, and I couldn't reach his food bag, but I could reach June's sandwich.  We shared it and Tuco was so happy, and quiet.

The dogs are perfection, they know the routine now,  it still stresses them out, but they just deal with it, no misbehavior from any of the three.  Considering what it could be, I think they are just the most darling supportive friends and so well behaved and well adjusted, I am truly lucky.

Made it to Kingman AZ, trying for Flagstaff AZ but thought I would treat myself to a gross Wendys Combo #1 w extra cheese,  at truck stop (It is delicious at the Balboa/Roscoe Wendys) , thinking oh what a treat to have fast food after all green juice and berries all week. At all the gas or pit stops, they had these bizarre signs posted on the doors, "If you have a mask on that covers your face it must be removed before entering"  -- so no Nixon masks to cover up robberies on Halloween?  Well, after the Wendys, it wasn't no Van Nuys Wendys,  I started to feel sick and could not make it further than Kingman.

Checked Yelp for local hotels, got highest rated with lowest price that takes pets, the lady at the desk said honey I'm so glad you did not stop at motel 6 or Days Inn, etc, 7 of the 12 hotels in this city are  infested with bedbugs and sometimes don't even change the sheets when someone leaves if they dont look dirty.

well I have my wipes and my sleep sheet that are well worth it from traveling in gross chinese hotels so  even though she said travelodge is so clean and nice, you can bet I'm still using it and will not put bare feet on floor.

bizarre beautiful barren landscape through mojave

Tuco enjoys time out of the travel cage at Travelodge, makes no noise.. what a good boy.
I stopped at petco and bought all kinds of new treats and foraging materials, he was having a great time.
then he started destroying the stretch cord
 top of the cooler bag next to cage when I was watching tv not paying attention.
Its all my fault, I cant get mad.

back to back sacked out good boys, now used to road trips
and weird hotel stays..... so well adjusted.  I give them  fawning massage  "medical treatment" (checking for new or growing tumors) each night to release some endorphins.  oh you should see them and their thankful, loyal
eyes,,,,,,

Argo Review

MUCH RESPECT!!

Who's better than Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad!!!
and Ben, sorry I underestimated you

WOW.  I really don't ever remember literally biting my fingers and white knuckling the chair arms at a movie.  The tension building skill was amazing.  The Hollywood parts were hilarious.  

The "Its so crazy it just might work" was incredible.

and to be a true story and hear Jimmy Carter's speaking at the end.  Tears of pride.

Run, don't walk, if you need some entertainment to make you forget about everything else in your life and remember that personal commitment and duty and loyalty... oh blah blah blah its fantastic.

FINALLY--Some New Marni Jewelry

I was beginning to lose faith that any of my jewelry designs would ever be made and sold, through the deal I struck with my Indian manufacturer.  But, I forgot that India time is U.S. time multiplied by 10.  So if you think you're getting a counter sample in one week, make that 10 weeks.  But I'm excited at how some of them are coming out-- these are only first samples that need a lot of work in some cases.  This is the problem though, it will take months, up to a year, to get them photographed, line list, visit boutiques with samples, take orders, sell and get commission.  But it is a long term plan, and I have to be patient.  I'm so excited about the arm bands though-- several girls at the rodeo asked me where I got them and when they found out I make them they wanted a pair.  So that is GREAT......more updates to come.

Gold metallic leather with bone bead

black suede upper arm band

red suede upper arm band

Fringe Power cannot defeat the tyranny of evil-doers

Pulp Fiction Style Quote (yes I know the Pulp Fiction version is not a true bible quote):

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous horse is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is she who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the horse's souls through the valley of darkness, for she is truly her brother's keeper and the exposer of evil men . And she will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and FURIOUS anger those who attempt to POISON, and destroy my horses. And you will know my name is The FRINGE when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

Yes, tonight I whipped a handful of gravel at a 9 year old boy and his father.

Took a trail ride (the team sorting rodeo was cancelled due to just a little bit too much mud that a horse might slip on) and so, instead, my partners Dennis and Kayla and I took a ride through the magical bamboo forest in the Hansen Dam.

Upon our return to the low rent DOUBLE JJ stables (next to Summerhawk) in Sylmar, we entered the back gate of the property from the trails to the sight of an 8 yr old boy throwing rocks at a proud, head held high, pure white mare in the middle of an arena.  He and his father taunted and continued to throw things at her to make her run or move inside the arena.  

Dennis, my instructor, a man who has had a long time relationship with this ranch and has his horses there, yells to the boy "DONT YOU THROW ROCKS, DONT DO IT, DONT YOU DO IT!" and we ride past.  I turn around, and see the boy whip another handful of rocks at the beautiful mare.  

I can't take it. I whirl around on Tommy (he's quite impressive at 17'2)-- and race back in their face-- I  scream "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO????!!!!  HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEONE THREW ROCKS AT YOU!!!???"  The father, standing next to the boy yells "listen, its our horse we can do what we want, he's not hurting the horse. Its none of your business."  

I SERIOUSLY  LOSE IT LIKE I NEVER FELT BEFORE.   I leap off Tommy, grab a handful of gravel and whip it at the feet of the father and son.  "NONE OF MY BUSINESS????  I'M MAKING IT MY BUSINESS.  HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?  HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SOMEONE THROWS STONES AT YOU!!!!?????" 

The father and son look at me like I"M THE CRAZY ONE (which I am when it comes to protecting animals) and walk away quickly toward the other end of the stables.   My eyes start to tear up I am so furious and angry.  I put Tommy away, and see the white mare now in her stable.  I walk up to her and tell her right near her face,  "I would never let anything like that happen to you, I am so sorry, they are evil, I will try to do what I can" and she looks right at me and rubs her face against mine.  looked me right in the eyes.  she knows.


Now, here comes a different horse, running wildly loose on the grounds, lead rope dragging, he steps on the lead and trips, falls forward, I scream   WHO'S HORSE IS THIS WHAT THE FUCK  IS GOING ON AROUND HERE!!!!???   and here comes the weaselly father "Oh, he got away from me and tore the hell out of my hands with that rope" he says to his wife and son.....this horse went up to the white mare and whinnied and stood face to face side by side touching her head with his trying to comfort her or, asking :I saw what you went through, could you please protect me, thats why i ran away from this evil man..."

I scream to the man's comment about bloody hands--"GOOD!    YOUR HANDS DESERVE TO BE TORN UP. AND YOU CERTAINLY DON'T DESERVE TO OWN A HORSE.  WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!???"  How do you have horses just to abuse and humiliate and mistreat them!!!?? The father says  "Look lady, these are our horses and its simply not your business how we treat them"  "


I pass by the boy by himself as I walk to exit the ranch  He is out of sight of his parents.  I grab his shoulder and look him in the eyes and say with my most evil threatening voice,   YOU BETTER FUCKING LEARN HOW TO TREAT A HORSE OR YOU"LL GET YOURS." and I can see in his eyes the fear and he knows EXACTLY what I'm saying.

I said viciously out of nowhere as the father walks up  (brilliant response-- this is usually one I think of on the way home) "well guess what-- kids that hurt animals can grow up to be serial killers and they often start with their parents.  Think about that."

I grab my stuff and quickly walk out of the property saying to Kayla and Dennis thank you for the lovely ride but I am just too angry to stay here any longer and drive away crying.  

I will post this to Hansen Dam trail riders group so everyone knows what is going on at this place and I will call the owner Joy and try to get them at least thrown out of the stables.  I thought a badass biker/rodeo fringe outfit like Wonder Woman and a tall intimidating horse could  strike fear into these caveman evil  troglodytes but it did not.   I will keep trying......

I'm still so angry and I just have to get it out by writing it down. I wish I had the guns like Vincent and Jules and just could have blown them away like in the kids eating their hamburgers scene.  I am quite serious.  Or, I wish I had so much money that i could say I''ll give you $$$ dollars for those two horses right now-- spreading out the cash to show to them, just to get them away from these uneducated, uninformed, cruel owners.

And in my heart I know this is the LEAST harm a horse is subjected to when tortured, I guess thats what caused my vicious attack on them....knowing I can never save them all.

"No, YOU say Sabotahge, I say Sabotaazh"-- outtake from Mr. William Shatner

Yes, yet another act of self-sabotage.

Working in the Cooper Building Downtown for my friend Christine in her fashion showroom, turns out there is a new juice store "Pressed Juicery" that is the MOST amazing juice ever, beating out every green juice I ever had.

The manager is SUPER cute looks like Tony Goldwyn.  I though eh, he's probably gay so I was super outgoing and friendly and talked about my troubles with juice in Oregon and how I lost all this weight and its a way of life and kept coming back every morning for my juice and every night to take it home, well one day I was feeling particularly confident from the way he looked at me and from him getting a little flustered when I came by that he might be straight.

So I stopped by the other little market first, saw he was there, and came out to talk to him.  He had gone on a delivery.  I said to the other guy "Where's my boyfriend he was just here?!" he laughed and told me.  I said "Is he straight?  Married? Girlfriend?"  "Yes and No"  Okay!  I said, and went back up to work.

That night I snuck out the back freight elevator and walked one extra block away to catch the bus when the easiest stop is right in front of the shop, I was so terrified by my actions.

Tonight was the last night I was working there and I did the same thing.  As I passed the store (on the bus) at my usual bus stop time of 4:30, he was standing outside on the sidewalk looking around.  Was he looking for me?  He glanced and saw me on the bus. I'm such an asshole.

Looper Review

Saw Looper this week with the Asians, there were 3-4 twist endings I could see coming and I thought I was so clever.  The twist was none of them.  I give it something directly between an A- and B+

Very worth the money in a theater.  Very well done.  Time travel movies always hurt my brain trying to figure out if the logic created in the movie is correct, if this happened then how could this have happened, etc.  But I gave up and enjoyed the ride.

The problem was they showed about 5 intense horror film previews before it and I had to sleep with the lights on just because of them!!!!  why pair those with this movie????

On track--Rodeo Fashion

So are my rodeo outfits on track or what!

Crow feathers/ravens foot necklace

Bone Bead breast plate (its coming next time)

Upper arm bands

Black Hair streaks

Zorro/Lone Ranger black mask

I'm going to go even MORE Johnny Depp for the next one!!!  Maybe some war paint on the face.  Definitely a head wrap with black hair hanging out and some extra braids....

Holy Tardive Dyskinesia Batman

No more mentals this week to report.  Well, we have next week Monday thru Thursday.  Here's hoping.

Daily Dose of Dementia-- Day Three--Wed. Oct. 3, 2012

This might have been the best yet-- someone who is NOT totally mental, just OUT THERE.

I walk down to the platform turn the corner and lean next to a Latino male, mid 30's, fishermans hat pulled down low, normal looking, tats, nothing scary.

He says "Its going to be okay you know"  I hadn't looked at him or anyone, just thinking my own sad thoughts.  (My friends Dad had just passed away and my other friend's dog just died that morning, one I had babysat and known very well).

I said flatly, yeah, probably.

I got on to the train, sat way in the corner.  He makes a beeline to sit right next to me.  "I hope you don't mind, but when you walked by me your energy just waved through me like "whoa!" and knocked me back against the wall! and I couldnt help but look at you and wonder about you?  I grow a lot of weed, and I just wondered if you smoke and if I could help you with what you need right now for your sadness?

I said how do you know I'm sad?  

He said take my hand like this... and holds both his hands around my one hand.... for about 30 seconds, his eyes closed. I was very lackadaisical thinking oy vey another nut.   He opens them. "wow, you have huge orange and yellow bright colors around you!"  

I know I am a writer, and I know I make things more fun to read with slight embellishments and exaggerations.  BUT I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING!  this is what he said to me!  I thought to myself jesus H. Krishna, thats just what I said I thought drew the mentally ill or ANY freak to me all these years!

I said how can you feel or sense that?  He said Oh you are the type that must know there are many dimensions beyond what everyday people see and feel and hear and I just felt something from you that was so strong! I don't know if you're religious or what.... and I interrupted no, I'm more of a pantheist  or buddhist....

so he said well then you know all the levels of consciousness and many have been through them and 

He went on to talk about the different kinds of weed and hash and how shamans have used them through the centuries and how they used heated specially shaped stones to scrape the "Hash" off the leaves to make hashish and achieve levels of consciousness beyond what we see every day and I tell you, he wasn't just some scheister, he really believed in what he was telling me and of course he was on something at the time but it was opening him to some other dimension and talking about when you fall asleep there is one period where you can teach yourself to astral travel, and "now is now and you know what, now its already gone" and I guess he just had me so distracted that I forgot about my sorrows for that time and just talked to him about other dimensions and dreams and he asked me "what do you feel when you hear that someone else has died that you don't know" and I said "not much" and he said that's right, because it happens every day, to everyone, and you are alive, and those that have died--they want you to live and not be sad, etc on and on.....and they are waiting for you when you join them again....

Man it was wild.

What will tomorrow bring!!???

Daily Dose of Dementia-- Day Two--Tues. Oct 2, 2012

Like I mentioned, In past subway rides once or twice a month in LA, I hadn't experienced the wonderful daily dose like I had in NYC, now it seems its quite common in the underground world.

After work, way home, on the platform.  I hear some loud grumblings, ok, here's the next one.  I stand looking straight ahead, SWEARING I won't do one single thing to catch his eye or attract him to me.  However, I am wearing a neck to toe black straight dress with 6 inch platform sandals that make me 6'4", with my rodeo arm bands in suede black fringe, and huge concho black and silver belt that is about 6 inches wide.  So okay, I'm not blending in.

A very attractive-faced man actually, except of course for dirty clothes, greasy dirty blonde longish hair, and bad overgrown grey beard, came stumbling toward me mumbling, right up into my face, not randomly, not turning to whomever was nearest, he made his way from the end of the platform all the way to the middle, the entire time fixated on coming at me.  What am I gonna do?  I look at him.  He says "Yeah?  I'll take 'em into the bathroom, beat the shit out of them"

"Who?" I answer calmly.

"The bitches.  Are YOU a bitch?"

"I'm being pleasant enough to you, aren't I?  You know, you look a little bit like Matthew McConaughey."

"Fuck!" and he walks away.  Comes back behind me.

Says to an awkward young teen Latino goth with a weak chin --"Well? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!"

I whirled and said to him "Stop being MEAN to everyone.  You're not going to make any friends that way..."

"Fuck!!!" he says again and walks away.

Again, the looks, the whispers, the snorts, the twitters, people looking at me smirking with laughs....why is this crazy puta bitch even communicating with this maniac?" 

The train comes and we all get on except Matthew-- he either stayed or got in another car.

I hoped selfishly for a "thanks" from the weak chin, but he didn't even look at me the whole ride home.  Oh well.  There was one guy that looked like LL Cool J that glanced at me a couple times, he knew what I did.  That was enough for me.  So craving acknowledgement. Just like the mentals!

I have learned from experience that ignoring is what drives them even crazier, like they don't exist, like no one even notices them or acknowledges they are alive, like they're invisible.  this I think is more torturing to the mentally ill than having an exchange, any exchange. even if its negative....at least they can feel they exist in the world.  Maybe that's why their comments become more and more violent, more upsetting, to TRY to be acknowledged that they DO exist and you see them... sad.-

Daily Dose of Dementia-- Day One--Monday Oct. 1, 2012

Its been a while since I've taken the LA subway-- I'm taking it to work for a week downtown and it has gained in popularity since the last time I rode (maybe more than 2 years ago?) and now has almost as many mentals as the NY subways!  Or at least enough to keep me entertained.  (Is that right word?  "Occupied"? "Engaged"?, I'm not sure) But you know how children or people who have different or more open functioning brains than the rest of us can see some kind of aura around people and run right in a bee line to it?  That's me with homeless mentally ill.  I swear, I don't do ANYTHING to encourage or insight this behavior, I hear some yelling and look in that general direction and that person IMMEDIATELY sees me and heads right for me.  I think to myself, okay, whats this one going to be like.  

As you may know about me,  I worked for 4 years both in Chicago and NYC with the homeless mentally ill in a day program that helped them get jobs through internships in mail rooms, helping them function on their own, get off drugs, get apartments, go shopping, just learn everyday living.  In the "methodology" of these rehabs "Thresholds" in Chicago and "Fountain House" in NYC, (you can look it up), the staff and the "members" of the clubhouse are all equal, we all work together, there is no "Patient vs. therapist" type of mentality-- which made it all the more f'd up day to day.  the "clubhouse" was what they called the day center.  I wrote proposals to rich corporations, individuals, and trusts, for funding, I was not a social worker, but I still was exposed to daily visits from the members and their particular bents.  Some were so engaging and affable that I could not wait to see them each day (say this in a Tiny Tim accent), "Oh, Miss Marni, will you be attending the Harvest Moon Ball this evening?"  (there was no harvest moon ball) but I replied eagerly "Yes, I've picked out my dress and  shoes and its going to be wonderful!"  He replied "Well, if your dance card isn't filled, I would love to dance with you this evening...." I said "That would be wonderful." and he wandered out and never remembered the conversation even happened.  In fact that same conversation would happen several times a month.

Some were so abused and tortured and brain damaged that it physically hurt me to see them.  (one young man's mother smashed half of his head in with a frying pan and threw him down the garbage shoot when he was young).  He still had half of his skull missing, like a half moon head,  and I suppose all of his sanity was gone with it.  He was a violent, angry personality.  Who could fault him.  

My job was to write proposals for funding.  I wrote specialty proposals for the deaf homeless mentally ill, the blind homeless mentally ill, the deaf AND blind mentally ill, the handicapped mentally ill-- can you imagine? There was a huge release of mentally ill patients into the gen pop in the mid 90's because of lack of funding that forced all these poor people into the streets with no where to go......

ANYWAY---

That is the back story as to why I think these current LA subway mentals gravitate toward me like some bright orange sun aura is radiating from me that says "I know you, I know whats wrong with you, it doesn't scare me, I will talk to you with no fear" or something like that.

Monday, Oct. 1st.

So a large pendulous breasted black woman on the train kept writing furiously on a paper on a clipboard and holding it up, showing it to everyone, I thought she was showing it to the crowds of people.  I said calmly and with interest "What are you doing?"  She said "I'm showing this to all the cameras so they can see how I'm being treated and abused, and that I was thrown off the train" etc.. etc.. (lunatic ravings of a paranoid dis-associative personality.)  I said well, I am pretty sure the cameras cannot pick up your writing if its that small, because I can hardly see it and I'm sitting right in front of you. 

"Oh YEAH?" she says combatively.

"yes".

So she goes back to writing again and this time comes back with huge printing "People say they cant read my writing so I'm making it bigger so all the cameras can pick it up too".

"thank you for the tip" she says to me

"No problem" I say without a hint of sarcasm or mocking.

People look at me like I'm just as crazy as she is.  Hey, just cause you're crazy and paranoid doesn't mean someones not following you!!!!  The mentals at Fountain House in NYC spoke some very insightful truths among the gibberish of word salads they spat out every day to me.

She continued until her stop and got off.