Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Completed One of "100 things to do before you die"
As Olympic sports announcer Jim McKay used to say--
The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Defeat
I don't know what you were doing today but I was realizing a long time goal-- competing in a Gymkhana in Grants Pass OR. During-my-Lifetime-Goal: move to small town where I am ostracized for being myself and also having CA plates, learn how to ride a horse in 6 months, and just before moving away, compete in 'friendly' competition at the Josephine-County-Oregon-Sheriff's-Posse-sponsored games and beat the pants off several 11 year olds and a couple Oregonian 30 somethings and win two ribbons as my "last hurrah" in that town. Check and check.
I entered to run in all four events on "Dusty"-- a fast and agile Arabian mix--where basically if you don't do anything spastic and just ride "correctly" he will rocket you through all the patterns like a programmable robot bullet. Rocky, the huge clunky draft horse mix because, while no one can deny his beauty and personality, is too green to even think about putting him in this competition, plus he honestly doesn't care about doing the patterns, he thinks its dumb and doesn't possess the drive to compete at these kinds of things: 1) Running around a barrel [it was supposed to be picking up a flag when you rounded the barrel but they removed that part because the flag guy didn't show up] 2) The Poles 3) The Keyhole and 4) The Texas Barrels
This very seasoned horse woman named Lizzie (a heavy set 30 something who also rides at Greyback Stables) got so mad that I beat her at running around the barrel that she said "I'll get you in the poles Marni..." rather competitively and with a nasty smirk. I didn't care about her, she was easy to beat. All I wanted to do was beat the times of these little kids and this other 30 something named Troy who kept beating me in our "Division" ages 31 to 49. Please realize I'm at the high end of this range people.
Marni runs around a barrel, wins 4th place at 12.2 seconds
(60 second video)
So when we came up to go head to head in the Poles, Lizzie fell off her horse, and me, not caring or calling out or checking to see if she's hurt, was just frustrated about my time at 35 seconds as this did not beat this Troy dude who got 33 something and that's why I slap myself at the end of this 90 second video:
Lizzie tries to beat me at the Poles (90 seconds).
Marni emerges triumphant into the sunshine over Lizzie,
who limps out after falling off. (20 seconds)
I also won a 2nd place ribbon at the Keyhole-- running into a circle of chalk and not touching the chalk line-- you must turn the horse and run back. Many a speedy young teenage girl (about twice as fast as I) totally blew this one--with their champion horses and shrieking stage moms-- because they tried to go too fast and blasted over the chalk.
Its all about precision, you see, and if you just stay out of the chalk, you may win even though you're not the fastest in the "B" Division. Uh, otherwise known as the slow division.
Marni places 2nd in the Keyhole-(video 45 seconds)
featuring my Evil Nemesis "Troy"-- I beat him here at least.
featuring my Evil Nemesis "Troy"-- I beat him here at least.
Anyway, an excellent way to go out in style from this town. Thank you to my dear friend Jamie for catching it ALL on video and not laughing!
Out on a high note as George and Jerry would say. I will ride into the LA sunset with a new direction and love of my life, the horses-- and a fresh new batch of stories for our weekly "sunset and wine on Karas rooftop lounge"
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| Ahhhh..... an easy gab with the gals and Bella the dog on my lap on the roof in the LA sunset |
Friday, January 13, 2012
I'm okay with praying to Jesus if its followed by Pantera & Fire
Another recent outing took me and Jamie (and her boyfriend) to the Oregon Bull Riding Championships. Ho-leeee cow. LOVED IT. The whole night is a mashup of concert -- performance -- --tense --dangerous killer cows -- and a handsome trim matching pair of fearless cowboy savior ropers.
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| I made sure to hang on to my ticket stub for the coupon on the back. |
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| Jamie and I attend Bull Riding with all the Greyback stable peeps. You can still rock a western look and look relevant and stylish-- retaining dignity for your age group-- all black, huge conch belt with enormous buckle, super long narrow black boot cut pants, western cut yoke black leather jacket from a thrift store ("Made in Paris" the label says) I've had for 15 years-- worn all through the late 90's, early 2000's Sunset Blvd/Rocker/Rainbow years. Checkout the look on the girl's face in pink behind us. |
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| Or, your outfit can take a terrible turn as you see on these perhaps 50+ aged ladies. Wait, was that girl in pink looking at the bullride or these women? |
None of my pics or videos came out very well, but let me describe. The place is packed with people dressed in their finest western frippery, lots of camo and hats, out for the big Saturday night-- pounding beers and all riled up. A DJ/announcer begins his patter and they do the National Anthem, then he goes into "Ladies and gentlemen lets bow our heads together in prayer to jesus christ-- that we come out of this safe, that this livestock is safe, and no one gets hurt" on and on--that we're proud to be americans in america, they boo Californians, they are so glad that they're all white (I saw one mexican and one black cowboy-- they stood at the very back to stay out of the line of sight of most of the arena) and praising to the rooftop that all we have is apparently due to the wonderful protection of our lord and savior J. Chrizzle. Blechhhh.
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| The ONE black dude and ONE vaquero-- I imagine they are discussing the hardships of living in a 93% white area. Wayyy out of sight in the very back corner section |
Then, what a shocker and so fucking awesome--the houselights go totally dark and on comes "FUCKING HOSTILE" by Pantera at earsplitting volume as all the competing cowboys come out in a line into the dark arena and a huge line of fire flares up as they walk.
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| Oregon has Cowboys from Hell |
So I go from wanting to puke, to my head almost exploding with joy! That's quite a confusing and startling trip in half a second, let me tell you. From then on, as each cowboy is introduced, they come out of the gate on the bull to their own song-- all good stuff. From Gaga and Marilyn Manson to Journey or the Eagles. I was impressed by the music, not one country song that I remember. David Bowie (Under Pressure), ONE gangsta hip-hop tune, Joan Jett, not bad at all...
Bad video but it gives you the overall vibe.
See the handsome ropers in matching blue.
Bulls have a "bucking strap"
put on them to make them mental....
The two dudes in blue, the "pickup men" ropers, are very trim and slim and matching and I had a big crush on them even though I could barely see their faces--because they saved every cowboy from the killer bulls roping and keeping them from killing anyone-- including--I'm not lying-- one bull that smashed out of the back pen, through the wall of the arena, and escaped out into the parking lot, they had to run out and get it.
GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES.
But the Pantera fire, heaven and Jesus reminds me and lets take a moment to
remember our friend lost too soon--
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| R.I.P. we'll never forget the kindness, friendliness and hilarity of our dear friend, Dimebag from Pantera Shot and killed 12-08-2004 |
We loved you.
Lets Lighten Up Already with Jumpoff Joe
Recently I was invited up to Hugo, OR to check out a fancy farm--
Its up on "Jumpoff Joe Road"-- my favorite named road up here, (it comes from this old seastack in late 1800's that people had to get around or jump off to walk down the beach) -- besides the name Jumpoff Joe, I love anything called a "sea stack"!?
...Jumpoff Joe was a 100-foot-tall sea stack geological formation composed of middle Miocene concretionary sandstone[1] at Nye Beach in Newport, Oregon, United States.[2] It was a well-known tourist attraction before World War I.[3] It formed sometime before the 1880s when it was connected to the mainland, and was a major impediment walking the beach.[3] Early travelers would have to jump off the side to get over it, hence the name. Early writers claimed the site was connected with Native American mythology.[3] Natural forces separated it from the mainland in the 1890s, and its large arch collapsed in 1916.[3] Nothing remains of the structure today...
So we were able to take a gander at the fancy "Star Point Farms" and all their champion paints including stallions, which I've never been around, thats a lot of power and vibe when your nutsack is still intact!
Its up on "Jumpoff Joe Road"-- my favorite named road up here, (it comes from this old seastack in late 1800's that people had to get around or jump off to walk down the beach) -- besides the name Jumpoff Joe, I love anything called a "sea stack"!?
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| Jump-off Joe in 1890 |
...Jumpoff Joe was a 100-foot-tall sea stack geological formation composed of middle Miocene concretionary sandstone[1] at Nye Beach in Newport, Oregon, United States.[2] It was a well-known tourist attraction before World War I.[3] It formed sometime before the 1880s when it was connected to the mainland, and was a major impediment walking the beach.[3] Early travelers would have to jump off the side to get over it, hence the name. Early writers claimed the site was connected with Native American mythology.[3] Natural forces separated it from the mainland in the 1890s, and its large arch collapsed in 1916.[3] Nothing remains of the structure today...
So we were able to take a gander at the fancy "Star Point Farms" and all their champion paints including stallions, which I've never been around, thats a lot of power and vibe when your nutsack is still intact!
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| Mike from Star Point Farms shows off his Mare's wears |
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| snazzy bodysuit keeps warm, keeps their coat smashed down and shiny |
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| Stallion Power-- Jadyn checks it out |
Thanks Mike and Jamie!!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
More Horse Sadness
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| Sad-- Because I'm leaving, he has to go-- there's a consequence I never thought I'd cause.... |
15.3hh GORGEOUS Bay Gelding, Draft Cross, 6 years - $2000 (Grants Pass)
Date: 2012-01-11, 1:00PM PST
Reply to: sale-ktfvj-2795010808@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Absolutely gorgeous bay gelding, with tons of mane and tail and he's smart/affectionate/curious like a dog. Rocky is that one in a million horse! He is adored by everyone that knows him and women often refer to him as the Fabio of the horse world (he has rock star hair!). . .
He's just shy of 16hh, completely sound with wonderful bone and perfect feet. Could be a magnificent hunt seat horse, dressage horse, jumper, cart horse, husband horse, show stopper (with his good looks) - ANYTHING! He's just six years old now (I've had him since he was 2.5) and it breaks my heart to have to sell him, but I got him for my boyfriend in 2008 and unfortunately he never rides him. Rocky could do anything really. . . he has an amazing super-slow jog, and goes down the trail without any trouble. He's been ridden for the last few months by a beginner rider that fell in love with him (as most women do), but she's moving to LA and Rocky's going to be left standing in his run again. His actual breading is ½ Percheron, ¼ Morgan and ¼ Arabian and though he doesn't resemble of these breeds -- he took the best from each of them. He looks like a REALLY expensive, incredibly handsome warmblood - with tons and tons of mane and tail!! Price is negotiable to an EXCELLENT home.
Contact me if you're interested (541) 415-1288.
Thanks!
He's just shy of 16hh, completely sound with wonderful bone and perfect feet. Could be a magnificent hunt seat horse, dressage horse, jumper, cart horse, husband horse, show stopper (with his good looks) - ANYTHING! He's just six years old now (I've had him since he was 2.5) and it breaks my heart to have to sell him, but I got him for my boyfriend in 2008 and unfortunately he never rides him. Rocky could do anything really. . . he has an amazing super-slow jog, and goes down the trail without any trouble. He's been ridden for the last few months by a beginner rider that fell in love with him (as most women do), but she's moving to LA and Rocky's going to be left standing in his run again. His actual breading is ½ Percheron, ¼ Morgan and ¼ Arabian and though he doesn't resemble of these breeds -- he took the best from each of them. He looks like a REALLY expensive, incredibly handsome warmblood - with tons and tons of mane and tail!! Price is negotiable to an EXCELLENT home.
Contact me if you're interested (541) 415-1288.
Thanks!
Monday, January 2, 2012
The sadness of detaching from the horses
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| Learned almost all I know from Jack |
Jack just knows everything and he's like a father figure. I'm sure I'll be calling him for help if/when I get some horses to ride.
I asked him how he would describe my horse skills at this point so I could put it in the classifieds. so simple, he says "well you're not an amateur, and you're not advanced, that makes you intermediate." Great!!! I aspired to that classification and wondered if I could use it in CA.
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| Learned the other half of what I know from my only friend Jamie, (She owns Rocky) a true "horsewoman" --fearless and admirable in her strength and intimidating skills in all things |
Jack jokes, "take Rocky with you, you guys are so good together" The first day I got to the stables I said "wow look at him, I want to ride him!" Jamie told me I had a ways to go before I could handle him. Half Percheron, quarter Arabian and quarter Morgan. So he's a big oaf. Mouthy, spirited, 'green' (not fully trained) unfocused, obnoxious at times, but also the best looking-- see how looks can get you so far!
As he is now for sale... I said if I ever get to my previous level of income again I would think about bringing him down to live with me..if he didn't work out for the first people who purchase him. I wonder.... hmmmm.
The first few days I rode him he didn't respect me. He would play this game bobbing his head up and down, up and down, so I couldn't get his bit on. Finally I grabbed him by the halter and said in a very low voice, right in the side of his face-- "Look, do you want to stand around here playing this fucking game in the mud, or do you want to go out and run." He put his head right down for me and the bit went right in. We came to "an understanding" after that and ever since its been improvement every day. Don't anyone tell me he's not too bright (Jack).
There is a horse at these stables here that just sits in her pen day after day, no one ever comes for her. They said oh yeah that's Bailey she gets ridden about 3 times a year when her owner comes in. I was horrified! I feel guilty if I miss a week with Rocky! So i asked Jack to ask the owner if I could take her out for exercise and today was the first time I worked with her, everybody who saw me brushing her says "Oh gawd, you're going to try to ride HER? and all said she was difficult " Jack says "Her owner wants to love and hug and all over her but Bailey's just straight to the point, 'don't give me that bullshit lets go" so I treated her that way. she didn't act up a bit, just running in the round pen, face time I like to do before riding because riding they never get to look you in the eye, feel your body, smell you, etc right?, and when we were done she came to me with head down and licking lips just like Horse Talk TV says (I don't know why they do that but it means they acknowledge you as the boss) and Jack said she totally submitted to me and I think he was a little surprised. So i said will you give me a good reference when I go for these horse jobs in LA. ha ha ha. horse whisperer. but if they are so sensitive, which they are, don't you think they can tell that I just love them and would not hurt them and she was probably so thankful to get out of 1 foot deep manure and mud that she stands in? I'll get more pics tomorrow and put them in here.
3 times a year-- thats neglect if you ask me. Many of the horses boarding there are taken EVERY DAY out to the pasture to run and cavort, and put away at dusk. Some, like Rocky and Bailey, are kept in these row houses with kind of a "backyard" space-- some of them dont play well with others. I understand this like with my pit mix Rune.
I'm pouring out my blahhhhhh here because I really love that place (the stables) and those horses and Jack, Jamie and Jadyn and even Jessica-- the 4Jays.... so, incredibly, it actually WILL be hard to leave them behind-- unlike the rest of this shit town.
This has been the most unusual period in my life, not having a job for 5 months, the joy of being able to drive on down to the stables every day, sometimes twice, learn so much in such a short time, have zero places to go and only friends at the stable. AND I was able to exist on much less money than I ever thought possible.........
so I enjoyed it as much as possible, and I'm so grateful I had it~! But I hope I can work from home in LA because a nap at 10:30am or 2 pm is now regular.
This has been the most unusual period in my life, not having a job for 5 months, the joy of being able to drive on down to the stables every day, sometimes twice, learn so much in such a short time, have zero places to go and only friends at the stable. AND I was able to exist on much less money than I ever thought possible.........
so I enjoyed it as much as possible, and I'm so grateful I had it~! But I hope I can work from home in LA because a nap at 10:30am or 2 pm is now regular.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
On the Verge of a Sweater
So I'm not usually inclined to write a blog about a cool sweater I bought because a) living in LA for 14 years you don't buy sweaters, and b) I haven't had a blog for that long. Iris showed me the mall BEYOND the mall we always eat lunch. Its simply called the "Kwai Chung Mall" and it is a little junky and loud and crazy like Lo-wu. there are several AWESOME Korean design boutiques (whats better than a Korean designer in HK? Tell me and I'll go there) and check out the sweater I found-- people who really know me-- tell me this is not the best thing you've ever seen? oh my god these Koreans are the best.
So check this out---
I'm staying at the "Cosmo" hotel in Mongkok and they never came up before in any of my kayak searches for good prices but this place is GREAT.
I feel so at home here, here and New York-- everyone's quick witted and fast and stylish and successful and it does't matter how old I am -- the Korean designers said "I like your boots" I say "they're slippers!!" and show the bottom, they laugh and laugh. I've asked everyone who comments if they know the "C list reality star in the US?--no one here has ever heard of Snookie-- which could work in my favor....
okay more later gots to sleep.
Love to all.......
So check this out---
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| how could they capture me so well? |
I'm staying at the "Cosmo" hotel in Mongkok and they never came up before in any of my kayak searches for good prices but this place is GREAT.
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| Mongkok view by day from my Cosmo room |
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| one window seat in bedroom and one in living space I slept there the first two nights |
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| Mongkok view from Cosmo window seat I just laid there staring at this as I fell asleep-- so lucky |
I feel so at home here, here and New York-- everyone's quick witted and fast and stylish and successful and it does't matter how old I am -- the Korean designers said "I like your boots" I say "they're slippers!!" and show the bottom, they laugh and laugh. I've asked everyone who comments if they know the "C list reality star in the US?--no one here has ever heard of Snookie-- which could work in my favor....
okay more later gots to sleep.
Love to all.......
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Fidgets and Fairland
Oh joy in the land of nod, last week Jamie alerted me to "Cavalia" performing in Portland http://unrevedeliberte.cavalia.net/en/spectacle/apropos.aspx and asked if I would be interested-- I almost fell off of my chaise when I saw the premise and the pics, oh my god of course lets go-- not thinking what the day before thanksgiving traffic between 12-6 pm might be on the 5 North....she said with traffic its not THAT bad even on Holidays...
But finally! An event to attend that would warrant, nay, require that I dress up (in my mind), where I could wear something other than my bathrobe or thrift store horse riding mud clothes. We purchased VIP seats very close which included our own VIP open bar lounge and hot hors d'oeuvres beginning 90 minutes before and after the show (so it would begin at 6:30) and included tour of the stables and to meet the performers both equine and human, and away from those slatternly commoners!
So we were going to wear the base parts of our outfits in the car and to save time, assemble the rest of the finery in a loungey fancy bathroom ladies couch type area that I imagined such a ticket price would call for, (or even a heated indoor parking structure would suffice--this is how I imagined it with my ever-rose colored contacts.) I brought all my jewelry, the fixings and wanted to dress like I was going to the Met or Lincoln center (but modified to be my rock, equine, thrift version) and attend fully the pre-party eating shrimp and sipping on champagne. Well, 7 hours into a 3.5 hour drive we arrived at 7:20 and rushed to change in the rocky ice cold outdoor VIP parking lot.
I pulled on my floor length black cowhide hair maxi skirt that weighs about 5 lbs, took off my pants underneath, and switched from rubber boots to my own version of punky equestrian footwear, changed handbags, ready!
Afterwards Jamie sought this girl out backstage in the stables, she is so driven to do stuff like this that she just had to connect with this girl (Fairland Ferguson, she's all over the internet)-- which she did of course, she's a mover and a shaker.
The troupe has time off --- almost the whole month of December, she said she just broke up with her boyfriend, yadda yadda, and without planning it the conversation turned to-- why don't you come to GP for a couple days-- out at our stables the people would just FLIP if you came out to do a demo or something, people would come from miles around--they would PAY. I pipe in without thinking-- I have a nice guest bedroom you could stay in. whaa?! So Jamie is going to see if she can make it happen.
Good times, good times, but I would only go if it was "in your town"-- I don't think I would drive that far to see it if I was you.
But finally! An event to attend that would warrant, nay, require that I dress up (in my mind), where I could wear something other than my bathrobe or thrift store horse riding mud clothes. We purchased VIP seats very close which included our own VIP open bar lounge and hot hors d'oeuvres beginning 90 minutes before and after the show (so it would begin at 6:30) and included tour of the stables and to meet the performers both equine and human, and away from those slatternly commoners!
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| VIP open bar and buffet |
So we were going to wear the base parts of our outfits in the car and to save time, assemble the rest of the finery in a loungey fancy bathroom ladies couch type area that I imagined such a ticket price would call for, (or even a heated indoor parking structure would suffice--this is how I imagined it with my ever-rose colored contacts.) I brought all my jewelry, the fixings and wanted to dress like I was going to the Met or Lincoln center (but modified to be my rock, equine, thrift version) and attend fully the pre-party eating shrimp and sipping on champagne. Well, 7 hours into a 3.5 hour drive we arrived at 7:20 and rushed to change in the rocky ice cold outdoor VIP parking lot.
I pulled on my floor length black cowhide hair maxi skirt that weighs about 5 lbs, took off my pants underneath, and switched from rubber boots to my own version of punky equestrian footwear, changed handbags, ready!
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| floor length cowhide full skirt 5 lbs weight-- I dropped the belt for simplicity and handbag only for elegance |
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| Dubya Dubya I soldier spats w nude Tsubo mary jane platforms |
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| Lurex thrift sweater w pseudo military equestrian jacket- dumped that too-- over doing it. Anyway, we figured we would start flowing over with tears the second the house lights went down -- so we pulled out our tissue packs and put them on our laps. If you can believe it, never needed them. First, the music was that awful generic blah I don't even know how to describe it, had no emotion, then it was the arrogance of some of those little french men with long thinning hair and lots of overgesticulating implying "TA DA! LOOK AT ME! I AM THE BEST LOOKING ONE IN THE TROUPE!" Which he was, but that wasn't saying much. The show was "good"-- I could have used more horses, fewer overly expressive french Canadian fidget acrobats filling time in between horse segments-- they were probably the group that did not make the cut for the Vegas Cirques.....there were a couple bobbles and one fall. Even the horses had their bad nights, one of the stallions was acting up nipping and biting at his neighbor and in one of his solo acts in the ring, they had to add a girl in the center ring to keep control of him. They did a drill pinwheel just like we practice on the ranch team and, uhhhhh, now that I know what its supposed to look like, we've got a long way to go. Its not the speed, which we try to push, its the precision and matching horses and outfits. soooo beautiful. |
Pinwheel |
| Roman style riding segment was awesome, very rare, small segment of the horse trick world I hear. I like this shot for the almost good panning job. I should have taken more pictures, I didn't realize they would come out this well without flash so I stopped. Anyway, Jamie wanted more video of the horse segments that she can incorporate into our drill maneuvers. |
Here's this wild redhead roman style
standing one leg on two horses with reigns on 4!!!!
Afterwards Jamie sought this girl out backstage in the stables, she is so driven to do stuff like this that she just had to connect with this girl (Fairland Ferguson, she's all over the internet)-- which she did of course, she's a mover and a shaker.
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| That firecracker redhead rider Fairland Ferguson showing us the special equipment for their trick riding-- turns out she's just a real friendly "Sowth Carolahna" gal |
The troupe has time off --- almost the whole month of December, she said she just broke up with her boyfriend, yadda yadda, and without planning it the conversation turned to-- why don't you come to GP for a couple days-- out at our stables the people would just FLIP if you came out to do a demo or something, people would come from miles around--they would PAY. I pipe in without thinking-- I have a nice guest bedroom you could stay in. whaa?! So Jamie is going to see if she can make it happen.
Good times, good times, but I would only go if it was "in your town"-- I don't think I would drive that far to see it if I was you.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Keeping up with the Equestrians
A certain friend of mine who shall remain nameless (Kara) says I keep telling her about all my fabulous equestrian getup's but she has not seen any photographic evidence of ONE yet. So I better document each new outfit.
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| Turtleneck Ross $6.99 Thrift Wool blazer $2.50 Thrift Canvas military belt $2 Thrift Small plaid pattern pants chopped off with scissors at the knee $3 Suede Half Chaps $25 Thrift boots $5 |
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| Half chaps or "Chapettes" are hot!!! I tried putting them over all kinds of shoes and sandals and wedges and they give this futuristic awesome bizarre super style look. Get some girls. Jack the old cowboy called them "chinks" the other day, western cowboys look down on such attire. |
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Tuco "Incidents"
Incident Report #506, Form 42E:
In LA they charge $12 in Calabasas to trim Tuco's nails, file his beak, and clip his wings. Never had one incident. The only place that will do all three, the avian vet up here, charges $45!!! But there's a pet store that will do wings and nails for $5. "Why not the beak? you've already got him wrapped up right there?" "oh no, we don't touch the beak, too dangerous"
Took him in, he was all kisses and Hiiiiii!!! charming everyone from inside his travel cage and a few people gathered around to watch "Isn't he cute!". I said he's a little hard to handle.... The two women who do the work said oh we have 45 birds its no problem. They tried to towel him, (wrap around everything except head and feet so they can clip) and he fought so hard they couldn't catch him in a 2x2 foot cage. Then he fluttered out and escaped into the back stock room.
I said maybe I better do it. So we went into the back and I cornered and got him (I don't want him to associate this trauma with me, that's why I don't do it myself) handed him off to her, and he got his feet loose. He tore up this woman's arms like they got shoved in a wood chipper. His nails are like razors. (I have to wear a sock on my arm when I carry him around if he's not clipped for a while)
"Its okay! the woman says shakily, we do this all the time, it happens...." and I'm grimacing at all the blood and some of the watchers say god how can you keep a bird like that, do you ever get to let him out of his cage? What a terror! I said oh my god no-- to me he is a sweet little feathered cutie,
we sit together all day with him on the back of my chair, puts his head on my shoulder, he's bonded to one person. When he feels threatened he protects me or himself. And the clipping lady said yeah, the Amazons are known as the pit bulls of the bird world.... and I thought about it and said yeah, maybe she's right....the strength of his bite (they have something like 300lbs of bite pressure, more than a lot of bigger birds), his short temper, the protectiveness, the damage he can do.
So finally that was done and he's back on top of the cage seemingly settled down singing "La la la!!!" but it was his nervous singing and I see his eyes are pinpointing (he's saying very clearly "I will bite you") and a girl reaches over to pet him "he doesn't seem so bad now" and before I can say "Don't!" he chomps down on her arm and won't let go and shes screaming and shaking her arm I said "don't scream he loves it when you scream!"
I finally put him back in the cage and paid them $20 for the brutalisation. Probably not welcome there anymore I would imagine.
Incident Report #507, Form 86G + special use of Team 6 McGyver Tactics:
I was jerryrigging Tuco's cage for the cold months with his electric heater and this tarp tent so we don't have to heat the whole house for the little skeezix. I finished and went off to type on the computer, not noticing I left my sewing box on top of his cage, I come back later and see all the pins, metal, buttons, scattered all over the floor, the cage, and I think oh god, not this again:
So ever since the above picture I've had the local off hours emergency vet cel phone number in my phone so I dial it up and explain-- he says take away all his food immediately so if he did injest something it stays in his crop, its much easier to get out if its not pushed down in his stomach, I ask are there some home remedies I can try? "Yes, get some milk and something really sour like lemon juice and force it down his throat with a little eyedropper or something, he will feel sick and throw up, hopefully ridding himself of anything he ate.
Well, I had no milk, no lemon, no eyedropper or anything similar. So I got out yogurt, mixed it with some vinegar, and quickly unscrewed a ballpoint pen taking out the guts so it was hollow. Got him in a towel with his little head sticking out and since I had to hold him with two hands, I put the hollow pen in my mouth, sucked up the yogurt and vinegar so the pen was full, and everytime he opened his mouth to yell I spit it gently into his throat.
It went everywhere, he was spitting and shaking his head, I was spitting and gagging, finally he looked so sick I let him go sit on his cage and he threw up a few minutes later. Couldn't tell if he ate any metal, but the home remedy sure worked.
I stayed up all night watching him in terror, but he just sat there, sullen, covered in yogurt, probably so humiliated. Next morning I gave him a shower and he was singing good morning to you and after that everything was fine. GOD!!! I loved that vet I've got to go meet him.
In LA they charge $12 in Calabasas to trim Tuco's nails, file his beak, and clip his wings. Never had one incident. The only place that will do all three, the avian vet up here, charges $45!!! But there's a pet store that will do wings and nails for $5. "Why not the beak? you've already got him wrapped up right there?" "oh no, we don't touch the beak, too dangerous"
Took him in, he was all kisses and Hiiiiii!!! charming everyone from inside his travel cage and a few people gathered around to watch "Isn't he cute!". I said he's a little hard to handle.... The two women who do the work said oh we have 45 birds its no problem. They tried to towel him, (wrap around everything except head and feet so they can clip) and he fought so hard they couldn't catch him in a 2x2 foot cage. Then he fluttered out and escaped into the back stock room.
I said maybe I better do it. So we went into the back and I cornered and got him (I don't want him to associate this trauma with me, that's why I don't do it myself) handed him off to her, and he got his feet loose. He tore up this woman's arms like they got shoved in a wood chipper. His nails are like razors. (I have to wear a sock on my arm when I carry him around if he's not clipped for a while)
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| Tuco looking nuts |
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| Tuco look of love |
we sit together all day with him on the back of my chair, puts his head on my shoulder, he's bonded to one person. When he feels threatened he protects me or himself. And the clipping lady said yeah, the Amazons are known as the pit bulls of the bird world.... and I thought about it and said yeah, maybe she's right....the strength of his bite (they have something like 300lbs of bite pressure, more than a lot of bigger birds), his short temper, the protectiveness, the damage he can do.
So finally that was done and he's back on top of the cage seemingly settled down singing "La la la!!!" but it was his nervous singing and I see his eyes are pinpointing (he's saying very clearly "I will bite you") and a girl reaches over to pet him "he doesn't seem so bad now" and before I can say "Don't!" he chomps down on her arm and won't let go and shes screaming and shaking her arm I said "don't scream he loves it when you scream!"
I finally put him back in the cage and paid them $20 for the brutalisation. Probably not welcome there anymore I would imagine.
Incident Report #507, Form 86G + special use of Team 6 McGyver Tactics:
I was jerryrigging Tuco's cage for the cold months with his electric heater and this tarp tent so we don't have to heat the whole house for the little skeezix. I finished and went off to type on the computer, not noticing I left my sewing box on top of his cage, I come back later and see all the pins, metal, buttons, scattered all over the floor, the cage, and I think oh god, not this again:
So ever since the above picture I've had the local off hours emergency vet cel phone number in my phone so I dial it up and explain-- he says take away all his food immediately so if he did injest something it stays in his crop, its much easier to get out if its not pushed down in his stomach, I ask are there some home remedies I can try? "Yes, get some milk and something really sour like lemon juice and force it down his throat with a little eyedropper or something, he will feel sick and throw up, hopefully ridding himself of anything he ate.
Well, I had no milk, no lemon, no eyedropper or anything similar. So I got out yogurt, mixed it with some vinegar, and quickly unscrewed a ballpoint pen taking out the guts so it was hollow. Got him in a towel with his little head sticking out and since I had to hold him with two hands, I put the hollow pen in my mouth, sucked up the yogurt and vinegar so the pen was full, and everytime he opened his mouth to yell I spit it gently into his throat.
It went everywhere, he was spitting and shaking his head, I was spitting and gagging, finally he looked so sick I let him go sit on his cage and he threw up a few minutes later. Couldn't tell if he ate any metal, but the home remedy sure worked.
I stayed up all night watching him in terror, but he just sat there, sullen, covered in yogurt, probably so humiliated. Next morning I gave him a shower and he was singing good morning to you and after that everything was fine. GOD!!! I loved that vet I've got to go meet him.