A Lesson in Florida Archetypes

Lesson in Florida Archetypes

This morning at the horse rescue I met our latest addition-- Callie.  Beautiful red mare.  Body condition probably between 1-2.  Covered in sores and rain rot.

I was chatting with the farrier's young assistant about her when someone said "Well I guess she was owned by some redneck who left her tied up on their asphalt driveway with no shade and only fed her two carrots a day...." and the young man interrupted-- "NAH NAH NAH that ain' no redneck!  I'M a redneck.  That there's a HILLBILLY.  Rednecks would be BEAT DOWN if they ever treated an animal that wayyy.   Nah ma'am- I'm from Noath Caolynah-- and that is definitely a Hillbilly.  Now you also gotchyoh Hilljacks-- but they don't come out the wooooods."  and he laughs.

I was so taken with his pride and how officially certain he was about the separation between Southern types.

I had to go home and google the topic.  Fascinating.

The horse--Terrible. And this Callie could not be more docile and sweet.  Perfect ground manners and does exactly as you ask.  All she wants is food.....

Copy Shopping in Shanghai

Its very simple really.  You're strolling down any major shopping street and a little guy or woman will approach you with a tiny brochure "Copy watch copy bag copy belts etc" You say "Good prices?" of course they answer yes best quality low price".  You size then up and use your intuition to feel if they are just a hump doing his job or someone with nefarious intentions.  Its 99% never the latter.

You ask "How far" that you're going to have to hoof it down a hot sunny crowded street and its never far-- "2 minutes only 2 minutes!"  Ugh.  Okay.  So you follow him (but not too close so no can identify that you are together.....)

The guy walks fast its hard to keep up.  There is no communication just looks to make
sure you are still following.  Here we are following this man down the huge Nanjing walking street
in Central Shanghai

After a walk of nearly 15 mintes you turn off the main tourist street to a lovely side street with boutiques and hardware stores and family marts and the like.

You enter a perfectly normal little bag and luggage store front and are taken to the back room where a panel of brightly lit displays of new handbags opens with a secret doorway behind it.

There are narrow steep wooden rickety stairs that you can barely navigate.

Following our guide into the unknown rooms of Chanel and Gucci

You finally get to the secret room which is very small and claustrophobic.  They begin shoving different bags at you that are not your taste so you ignore and look for what you might like.  I'm NO expert in designer handbags but there were some I could tell were MEGA high end.  Why bother hiding then so expertly otherwise.  I heard that factory workers sometimes stay at the factory after management has left.  They produce however many extras of the same exact bag being produced by Hermes Marc Jacobs Gucci Prada whatever and then they hide it in the ceiling for later or just truck it right out.

So you continue browsing--  dont look at the room opposite of the sales closet because its someone's bedroom.

Secret sales closet upstairs

Look across the hall from the copy sales room and you see their bedroom

So you're ready to buy.  They will type on a calculater the price.It is usually twice what they can actually get-- so you type back on the calculater a price lower than half.  They scoff at you and wave you away like they have just been given the most awful insult.  Then they type a new price about 20 percent lower.  You scoff at them and type in closer to your half price.  They say okay best chinese price to you today because you are my friend....half of what they orginally said.  Or if they dont go low enough you scoff and walk toward the door.  They will grab your arm and say okay okay!!!  this price ok?  usually just 10 or 20 more than your target so you acquiesce.

I walked out with a $1750 Gucci bag for around $100.  I was so proud and did not feel quilty.  These people are risking a lot to make money to support extended families.  They have no major education and are paid slave wages with grueling conditions in the factories.  (mostly up to code but still grueling in our eyes).  Until conditions and wages improve in their daily work I suppose this risk looks very appealing to them.
Anyway its not something I do all the time but it is something you should try at least once for the adventure.

Day 3 and 4 Guangzhou and Dongguan

Headed into China Monday by train from the Hong Hom station in TST direct to Guangzhou.  Nice easy ride.  Met a new vendor of kids crafts.  I hate kids crafts but these guys have their act together and made me embarrassed about the company I work for as they were much more together than we are!

That night their driver hauled us an hour and a half to our hotel in Dongguan so we could meet our next vendor.  Wow it is dismal out and about in China-- same as usual.  Grey brown skies and everything so dirty.  Sad.

Dongguan attempts to beautify w fountains and landscaping but the
pollution cannot be overcome

That night we wanted to shop but it was too dangerous in our area to go out in the dark.

Man in the street carrying stuff

Our great supplier in Dongguan took us to an "Italian" restaurant in Dongguan for a treat-- I thought oh lord this is going to be a nightmare as I've been to Italian in Taipei and it was really disgusting.  However it turns out it was a trueblood italian guy who opened this restaurant and lots of westerners and euros go there and it was really great.  They even had a delicious Malbec.  Shock.

Antipasta at Italian joint in Dongguan 

Finally got to go shopping and get my ratchet nails fixed at the mall-- the little girls spoke about 5 words of english and I knew 5 of Mandarin.  We used the translation app on their phones to communicate.  So funny.  Some of their questions that came up were "Do you want to take the whole hand off?" and "Do you want color or the green plastic?"  How do I answer that?  But in the end I got a fabulous manicure.

Nails Dongguan style

Next morning flew to Yiwu.  More on that later.

China Travelogue Hong Kong

After much procrastination I have finally logged on to record some tidbits from my current trip.  Got to Hong Kong Saturday and was feeling fine.  My colleague Kristine and I checked in to a new hotel-- "Hotel Panorama by Rhombus" and wow what a view for a cheap price.  Its in TST which I usually dont care for but figured what the hell.  Too bad it was foggy but still amazing view.  Foghorns of the big ships passing through Victoria Harbour was a wonderful soundtrack.

View from Hotel to Victoria Harbour-Hong Kong Island across the way

Headed out for shopping and such.  Mongkok Ladies market for great junk.  On the way there we ran into a parade that was protesting Chinese mainlanders shopping in Hong Kong.  They were yelling at all the people on the street to go home to the motherland!  We didn't know what it was at the time.  I saw it in the paper the next day.

Kristine (blond) attempting to circumnavigate the marauding hordes
at Fa Yuen Street Ladies Market in Mongkok

Street performer at market in Mongkok-you could hear

his grandiose music for blocks around

After being totally drained by the noise and crowds-fighting with vendors for cheaper prices and dodging pushy chinese natives and passing by one too many Durian and street meat stalls we had to take respite back at our hotel on the club lounge floor (ooooh).  

Octopus tentacles ready for roasting

Sunday was our day to attend the Hong Kong Jewelry show in Wan Chai.  We took the Star Ferry across the harbour.  I love that thing so much.  It looks like it has not been updated since the turn of the century and still only costs about Fitty Cent.

Jewelry show was mostly fine jewelry but there were some great druzy and gemstone that we found.

Watch for these soon for sale on ebay or etsy!

When we arrived at the jewelry show they directed us to our special place
 which was of course the Hall of Extraordinary

That night my friend Jo Tam came to have drinks at the club lounge of our hotel-- good times I miss her.  We worked together at Blue Moon.

After drinks we went for typical foot massage-- wonderful.

foot massage joint

Monday we will travel to Guangzhou and Dongguan factories.... TTFN

Dissed by a Drag Queen

Last night I had one of my best Halloween outfits ever as Mother of Dragons Khaleesi Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen.  I was fortunate enough to be invited to "Quench" a gay bar with a costume contest.  My friends a sexy witch and Edward Scissorhands and Velma were there with me.

As the gorgeous drag queen MC called me out onstage I cried out "Unsullied!!!  Will you fight for me as free men!!"  Two of my friends yelled and clapped wildly.  The MC said sorry honey your two friends aint going to win you this contest.  I yelled at her "DRACARYS!!!" which is the command for my dragon to burn her.  

The Queen was most displeased with this outcome.

However her fun friends soon distracted her from enacting revenge.....

Black Racer Florida Snake

I cant live here any longer than my 6 month lease.  I have to find a modern condo or apartment NOT on the ground level in some kind of paved modernized grounds.  Today I was sweeping and vaccuming and shaking  out some rugs and
1) found one lizard behind my tv. Killed it after about 10 minutes of trying to catch it.
2) after letting a rug sit out in the sun to air out, I lifted it up and a big "black racer" snake slithered out from under it.

I CANNOT TAKE IT.  THIS IS WHY THE ONLY WAY I CAN SLEEP IS IN MY IMPENETRABLE BUG TENT.

Now, I read that the lizards eat the roaches and ants.  I can deal with roaches and ants myself.  I cant deal with these anole lizards that move as fast as cockroaches. I then read that the black racer feeds on lizards, and the place he slithered into is where all the lizards live in the back yard. ok, maybe it will work out--but its pictures like this that keep me terrified and inside my tent:

Ok I'm going to have to go into my tent and watch some dvd's on my laptop to recover from this morning's episodes.

Tata for now.

Varanasi, city of beauty vs. ugliness

Today I went in to get Mr. Gupta to for his lunch that was delivered as usual from home.   Mr. Saha told me, say this to him in Hindi, he will be shocked and surprised.  So I knocked and went into his office and said “Buk leghit, challyeh Khana Khana Hey!”  (“I’m hungry, lets eat lunch!) –he and two guys were in his office and burst into laughter but said Marni, we are talking about an incident today that is very upsetting—one of my BEST friends (of Mr. Guptas) owns several gas stations in Varanasi.  He has a guy that has worked for him for 10-12 years, a long time, who takes the cash to the bank three times a day—the overnight money he takes at 9 am, then 12pm, then at 4 pm he takes the rest of the day’s cash to the bank for deposit.  He has done this same routine (on a motorcycle—mistake number one, you should always be in a car) for many years.

Pastoral scene of grazing cows, goats, dogs in varanasi

“Today, he was attacked by three men in black head wraps with guns and they shot him two bullets in the chest and murdered him, took all the money, and started to try to get away.”  This all happened in front of a huge crowd, like right in front of their faces, and they grabbed two of the guys, the crowd started picking up stones, bricks, wood scraps, and they beat the killer and one other guy until they were near death.  They took the gun, shot the rest of the bullets (maybe 4 left) up into the sky to empty the gun.  Now, the police began to arrive.  The crowd ran away, not wanting to be caught as the “killers” of the murderer.   The third killer got away by running away through the crowd.  The police captured the two killers that the crowd had apprehended and took them into custody, beating and torturing them until they gave up the name and address of the third guy, whom the police found and found with the money and captured him.  The two guys beaten by the crowd will die, say the doctors.

Obviously we have horrible murders every day in the US, but somehow this was so much different, with a crowd of people that would catch and beat the killer right there because they witnessed it and there was NO question as to who did it, etc.   I told them, in the US they would never do that, capture and beat the killer, no one would ever step in and do that…I found a visceral pleasure in the fact that people would take action like that. 

So I hope to find an article in the local paper tomorrow on this event.  Everyone in town knew about it, I went shopping for some scarves and silk after work and all the people at the shop knew about it, its all over town in seconds.  I might take a look at youtube and see if anyone caught it on their phone…

Amazing.  So—to all those who I have previously recommended traveling to Varanasi as a destination of a lifetime,  and extolled the holiness and sanctity of the ganges and the ghats, in the last 5 years it has become increasingly dirty, corrupt, disgusting and dangerous.  Siddharth, who is about 30, belongs to a city council type group of young business people who are working to improve the city, the trash, the crime, and all corruption.  They say it will take maybe two generations or two decades for them to overcome the current standard of living….til the older laissez faire generation ages out and dies…. I am going to attend a “Saturday night social” party thrown by their group tomorrow with Siddharth and his wife, all the new generation that is working hard to change their ancient city.  And of course there is karaoke and drinking, and I bought a new kurti tunic- gold and black--that is spectacular.  So I can’t wait.

Wow its never dull in Varanasi.

Near "worlds collide" Seinfeld moment.

For everyone who knows every word of dialogue and every interaction from every Seinfeld episode, you have to hear the latest run-in.   I barely ever hear or see my neighbor, a supposed Vietnam Vet who has lived there for 18 years and never made a peep. Saw him a couple times disappearing into his duplex side without a shirt.  Very pasty heavyset man.  Just now I heard some loud bumps and crashes and thought --should I just sit here, or should I check if something is wrong?

Well the good samaritan in me came out so I went outside and saw the neighbor, putzing around with a weed whacker that broke,  finally wearing a decent set of cabana clothes w shorts and a shirt, and I am wearing a green camo tshirt with asian printed pajama lounge pants.....I said hi is everything okay with you?  I heard some bumps and crashes, wanted to see if you were okay.  He replies "Oh I might have been in the bathroom..." (agggh yikes what?!)

I say uhhh... well, as long as you're okay.  Hey by the way, do you have a bug problem over there?  he says yeah pretty bad.  I told him about my special hookup with this once a year exterminator etc etc. and if we could both agree to let them do the whole inside and out of both our sides we could get rid of all those f'ing roaches-- which by the way are now only appearing DEAD in my house but from the wall that separates us.... all the while I'm trying not to look at the grapefruit sized GOITER on his neck... he must have noticed and I'm just hoping I don't set him off with my camo tshirt... what if he has Korean war flashbacks of bad meat and kishkas...

He says well I can't do it right away because I'm having this operated on to take it out (as he points to the large ball hanging off his neck) he hesitates, they call it a....G.....G.....and I jump in "a goiter, yeah?" and he says yeah, Goiter, and its on my...... you know... the growth gland..."Your thyroid, huh?"  Yeah and they took a sample and its not cancerous and I hadn't even noticed it until someone said something then I realized how big it had gotten and said I better get it seen by a doctor.  I said who's going to pay for your surgery, it better be the government!  and then I thought uh oh am I going to trigger a PTSD flashback saying that vehemently with my army shirt on!!??

 I said okay, when I get back from India (where I will wear Timberlands to appear taller and never use the bathroom) then lets talk to Chuck (the landlord) and make him take care of it.  Whats your name again? He says Alan.  After I went back inside, I tried to think of a way to remember his name with a mnemonic device, as I never remember anyone's name.  "Alan......Ball...... (one of my favorite directors) yeah Alan BALL on his neck"  now I'll always remember.

Anyway, just so many Seinfeld references I had to put it all down.  They were running through my head the instant our whole interaction started to go down.

  "The Mahatma???"

"Its Kreplach!"

Cabana wear from Mr. Costanza

BANSHEEEEEEEEE

BANSHEE BANSHEE BANSHEE! Okay it could go terribly wrong, but in this pilot, as every other Alan Ball show (Six Feet Under, True Blood), I screamed outloud with no one around "NOoooooo!" at the end of the episode, wanting more. Amish mafia slaughterhouse, skinheads, persian diamond thieves, black manhattan drag queen identity forgers, hot fake ex-con sherriff, all in a small town in Pennsylvania?
p.s. extremely strong fighting female roles, and Cinemax is free this weekend to check it out.

http://www.cinemax.com/banshee/#/banshee/video/


http://www.cinemax.com/banshee/video/?bctid=2083432701001

Tuco as a wet rat

Tuco's Sunday Bath