"People of Earth.... How are you?"
Welcome to Lady Fleabag, the musings and rants of world citizen Marni Hills. Here you can come to find daily musings, travel stories, dog and pet pictures and products, handmade gifts, crafts, jewelry and accessories, photography, creative writing, trend spotting, and much much more.

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Friday, August 12, 2011

Is it just me?

 So that's two times now in the last couple weeks I've had to save dogs from dying in a hot car.  do you guys ever have to do this?  I mean, is it just me?  what is it with people?  yesterday I caused a big scene at the nail salon-- I finally found a salon that had all Vietnamese staff (ahhh...felt so much more natural than white people--so pleasant, welcoming and talented.) I'm waiting for my appointment "you picka culllah missy" and the lady sitting in the pedicure seat next to me says to her pedicurist "oh i'm taking care of my friends dog this week and I would never have a dog but its so fun for a week, she loves to ride in the car, but I'm just a little worried cause she's out there now" --- Its 88 degrees, full sun asphalt parking lot with no trees. she points to the car right outside the door.  the male pedicurist says "you have windows open?" "no, she's fine, it was cool in there when I left a little while ago"  (a gasp from the other workers) another working lady "you leave the car running with a/c?"  "no, but she's lying on the floorboards and there's water there for her" Gasps and shaking heads from workers and customers but no one's doing anything.  I whirl around--now I have to jump in loudly "LADY, its 150 plus degrees in a car within several minutes.  Your dog is going to die.  she says snootily "No, like i said, it was cool in there when I left"  I said more loudly-- I'm calling the police right now if you don't get that dog out of the car.   Wouldn't it be terrible if your friend came back and finds out you killed her darling tiny baby by leaving her in a hot car?  you are unbelievable!!!"

The staff says "its okay, bring her inside, we don't want her to die!!!!" so she reluctantly stomps out to get the cutest little white groomed dog with a ribbon in her hair, so you know this dog is the joy of the owners life who dotes on her and would probably kill herself if her dog died at someone else's hands like that.  the dog didn't stop panting for about 20 minutes inside.  I wrote down the lady's license plate, I want to find this friend to tell her how her "friend" takes care of her dog for the week.  AND, by the way, where was John Quinones?  I thought for sure he would come out and pat me on the back and say "Marni, what compelled you to take up so strongly for this dog???"-- they always set those shows in nail salons.

The other episode was outside a grocery store-- HUGE white ratty full coat Pyrenees lying prone in the back of a junked out hoarder type station wagon-- windows cracked, but it was high 80's full sun.  the dog is panting and suffering.

I walk into the front of the store yelling "WHO'S CAR IS THIS WITH THE BIG WHITE DOG IN IT????" and some cracked out Rumpelstiltskin character just standing near the front says "thats mine lady and he is fine, trust me."  "No, he is not fine, you need to turn on the a/c or get him out of there -- maybe tie him over by a shady tree"  and he's getting more mad "Lady, mind your business, he's my dog and I'll take care of him"  (I'm about to take one of the stacked logs of firewood outside the store and bash his window in.)  "If you don't do something within minutes I'm calling the police for animal neglect and cruelty, I'm sure you don't want THAT on your rap sheet do you?"  (thinking he must have a rap sheet already, ha HA!")  and as I hear grumble grumble from him, I walk outside and stand next to his car, dialing the police.  now he comes out and says you are one pushy fuckin' bitch.  fuck you. and drives away.

Fuck me?  Fuck YOU!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

LAPD looking THX

I don't know if the LAPD got new uniforms for 2011 or what, but tonight on the way home from work I witnessed some poor sucker getting a speeding ticket, and the cop, whoa!  I had to do a double triple take, he kept his helmet on (it covers his whole face) as he talked to the driver, he was SO THX-1138!    All trim and black and shiny metal. 
The future is here.



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

hey Marni! It's me, Bobby!

New Years Eve at Vitello's in Studio City, Marni was spotted by a former "regular". This guy really loves a hot blonde! Loves to KILL them, that is! Watch out, Marni. He's still a "little rascal"!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

New Years Resolution

After a lengthy consultation with my physician (Federico Feelgood, MD), I have been given the go-ahead to start a special diet aimed at "getting me out of my rut".

I hope to gain zero pounds.
(marni)

Bacon & Donut Holes

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I don't like Christian Bale

But I just came from seeing The Fighter.  I had not planned to see this movie-- who cares about yet another down and out Boston accent rises above all odds to win at the end?   Within the first 10 minutes, I was completely in love with "Dicky Eklund" the emaciated toothless white trash crackhead washed up boxer Christian played.  In love.  The a-hole disappeared so fully that I honestly loved this person, this character.  I mean come on, La Bale is arrogant, self-important, stilted, all his method bullshit about staying in character between scenes, ugh.  And that rant from the set of T4?  Who can forget that?

 Well, don't let that keep you away.  Its so good.  He's so good.  Wow.




Thursday, December 9, 2010

5 More Years!!!

I cried some small tears of joy and relief this morning to hear Howard renewed. 
I will continue to be happy in the morning, at least for 5 years....

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A New Series: Inspiring Things (by marni)

Since I am finding very little time to create my own stuff to post, I am going to start by posting other people's work that inspires and astounds me.  Maybe that will help get my creativity in gear.

These freakishly awesome pieces are by artist Betsy Youngquist,
made with beads and antique doll parts.
See her Etsy store here.


How did you celebrate Jim's Birthday?

I will put on my indian concho belt, drink a bottle of whiskey,  and write some poems....
(Marni)


Monday, December 6, 2010

Black Swan-- See it

I heard today that this was actually only shown on something like 18 screens across the US this past weekend???  I mean I had to drive all the way to hollywood to the cinerama dome arclight.  ha ha ha.  I was waiting at the door at 10:30am, crushing my rumpled advance purchase ticket in my sweaty hand.  I couldnt wait to see this!
So, it is "very good"-- not great, not fantastic, but really good.  Worth seeing in a theater.  Theres a scene with her legs.......agggh!
If you like psychological thrillers or the work of Cronenberg, Kafka, or Aronofsky, for that matter-- it might resonate with you.  Natalie is very good.  There are a few "gotcha" scares that seemed a bit horror film-ish, but I did jump!

Since there are not many cities its shown in, to build buzz, I guess its up to people like me.  Well, I'm buzzing.....